44. Who are the people who have done the most to influence your personal development and in what ways were they influential? (Carleton College)
I would be lying if I said no one influenced me. Many have (in fact too many that I cannot be specific), and all that produced today's me. The cool people, the gentle people, the talented people, the charitable, the funny, etc. However, they influence me in all different ways. They pull me - pull me so hard and ultimately rip me apart in all different directions. Almost opposite directions. They leave me all lost and confused; they leave me in pieces so small that I cannot possibly gather them back together. And the forces in which they pull me are all about equal, I should say. There are no particular being or thing that have done the most to influence me. It is a collaboration of all the things I have watched, listened to, or lived with so far. It is not "the people." It is "it."
I am odd. I am odd but not the way teachers or colleges like. I am odd out of the system. Odd like a retard. I have unrealistic dreams. I expect different things. I realize I think very different from other people. I am a silly little boy that thinks studies and college are not everything, and don't take them seriously. And even more silly, thinking I can survive - survive very successfully - without them. I know I will, because I just said I think in such a way, but I also know I am hopeless and sound retarded.
Right now I am pretending. Pretending so much that it has gotten into me to automatically behave the way I am in school. It's not me, but I don't want to be me anyways. I can't. I mean, maybe this IS me and I am pretending the other way around. Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is that there is no particular influence anyone gave me. It all built up along with my qualities/genes. They were influential in the way that I have turned out to be. I really can't concentrate right now because my friend is distracting me. He's talking to me. Hold on a second.
I would be lying if I said no one influenced me. Many have (in fact too many that I cannot be specific), and all that produced today's me. The cool people, the gentle people, the talented people, the charitable, the funny, etc. However, they influence me in all different ways. They pull me - pull me so hard and ultimately rip me apart in all different directions. Almost opposite directions. They leave me all lost and confused; they leave me in pieces so small that I cannot possibly gather them back together. And the forces in which they pull me are all about equal, I should say. There are no particular being or thing that have done the most to influence me. It is a collaboration of all the things I have watched, listened to, or lived with so far. It is not "the people." It is "it."
I am odd. I am odd but not the way teachers or colleges like. I am odd out of the system. Odd like a retard. I have unrealistic dreams. I expect different things. I realize I think very different from other people. I am a silly little boy that thinks studies and college are not everything, and don't take them seriously. And even more silly, thinking I can survive - survive very successfully - without them. I know I will, because I just said I think in such a way, but I also know I am hopeless and sound retarded.
Right now I am pretending. Pretending so much that it has gotten into me to automatically behave the way I am in school. It's not me, but I don't want to be me anyways. I can't. I mean, maybe this IS me and I am pretending the other way around. Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is that there is no particular influence anyone gave me. It all built up along with my qualities/genes. They were influential in the way that I have turned out to be. I really can't concentrate right now because my friend is distracting me. He's talking to me. Hold on a second.
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