Challenge 32

247. Write an imaginary dialogue between you and a roommate late at night when the lights are out and neither of you can sleep.

Roommate: (whisper) You sleeping?
Me: Mmh??
Rm: (louder whisper) Are you sleeping?
Me: Ugh, you just woke me up...damn it..
Rm: Oops, really? Sorry! Goodnight!
Me: Am just joking, dumbass.
Rm: Bit......ch
Me: You're welcome, bro.
Rm: What you doing?
Me: Dude, what do you think I will do this late at night on my bed??? What can I possibly do??
Rm: (Mischievously) Ooohhh~~ what can you possibly do?
Me: (Annoyed) What can i do?? Duh - talk to my pillow!!! Gosh, how dumb can you get?

A short awkward pause.

Rm: OOHHHHHHH!!!!! How could I not think of that!? I'm so dumb. And you are mentally ill, you are aware, right? I hope so, because if not then...
Me: Then what!? Huh!?? What can you say about my mental conditions!!?? I'm normal! Don't judge me! And you don't even have the rights to decide if I'm retarded or not!!!
Rm: Are you seriously ill??? You are!! I thought you were being like that till now - which has been four years now - just as a joke, just to be funny. But are you really insane?
Me: Can you please be quiet?? My pillow just fell asleep! You know how hard it is to put a pillow to sleep? You have to tell fairy tales about unicorns and dragons!! Oh my gosh, it was so hard to come up with one.
Rm: ...okay...you are creeping me out. Goodnight.
Me: Dude, I'm just joking! Did you fall for that??
Rm: Oh...man, I actually thought for a second that you are really mad!
Me: But still be quiet because my laptop is sleeping. I'm not even joking now.
Rm: ...your laptop is dead.
Me: No, it still has some charge left.
Rm: Ugh, I mean it doesn't have life!!!
Me: SHHHH!!! You don't have to shout it out so loud, you know!? It's sleeping!! Seriously. And of course it does! It comes to life when I press the power button but for now I commanded it to sleep.
Rm: But it's just an electronic device. It doesn't eat or move around or talk like humans.
Me: Of course it does. It eats... electricity. And it's too lazy that's why it doesn't move around. And it does talk. It sings beautiful songs to me everyday. And it can play several instruments at the same time too. It sometimes sings with two voices at the same time.
Rm: That's the music file...not your laptop singing by the way. Are you serious right now??
Me: Oh, can I ask you a question? I've been always wondering, if you shut down your laptop does it shut down permanently?
Rm: What the fuuu - !? No!! (Crying and laughing at the same time now) Are you stupid?? It just shuts down and you can turn it on again with the start button...
Me: Oh.
Rm: Wait...so you have never shut it down so far??
Me: No.
Rm: You mean never ever. You just put it to sleep that's it?? How long have you had your laptop for??
Me: Two years.
Rm: What the f...
Me: I'm joking about everything till now. Go to sleep now.
Rm: I know that. I was playing along. Goodnight.
Me: I know you were playing along you douche. Goodnight. Sleep tight. Mate. (Only English people will understand this rhyme.)

Similar situations do happen in Hostel towards the end of the semester when students are loaded with too much work and stress.